A hacky Christmas! Finkrats!
by Your local spook
Summary: Might've been a little late, but what the heck. Here's something I hope the people will enjoy!


**Heh, heh. Just in time for the holidays! R&R oh, won't you? **

_On a snowy night…_

_One cold & cozy Christmas Eve…_

_Five .hackers prayed…_

_For what they'd receive._

_One prayed for sweets._

"Chocolate jelly beans are what my gut needs!" The female wavemaster asked. 

_One prayed for bigger teats._

"and even more jaw dropping cleavage! Hee-yeah!" The pink-haired heavyblade agreed.

_The young timid wavemaster had dreams…_

_I shall have him to tell us._

"If only Mia spent more time with me..."

"I have dreams, too."

_…the Wiseman would say._

"I want my digimon deck to be like no other, for I shall become a master!"

_Now the red twin blade, it would seem…_

_…was the saddest, depressed one._

_He would regularly dream on a daily basis…_

_…of a certain... comatose friend._

"Oh, Orca! You've left me so… with these fools that are a no show. Won't my friend 

ever come back again?"

_…it was all that he sought._

"I'll stab you mercilessly with this founded fork! Nobody will ever find that damn dork!" The heavyblade complained.

_But our hero would ignore...._

_…as he murdered monsters galore._

_Thwarting his foes with his otherworldly powers…_

_…he would silently cower._

"Santa, O great one… I'll whisper, not shout. Please give me back my friend. I won't cry my eyes out."

_Santa heard these sad wails… _

_…down from Skeith's hellish domain!_

_Skeith had thought, _"I can please all but one filthy tick. Oh, how shall I carry this down being Saint Nick?"

_Then he made up with an idea, gave a grin…_

_...laughing his socks off as the light grew dim._

So_ on that Christmas Eve of satire…_

_Skeith came bringing everyone's desires._

_He came landing down with his sleigh…_

_...with the grunties that he had enslaved._

_And so, he went to the beloved Christmas tree leaving presents…_

_Filling stockings with joys …_

_…precious treasures, and treats!_

_After his departure, everyone came running on their feet. _

_They settled at their tree, opening their gifts like mad little men._

_A jar of chocolate jelly beans…_

_…for the sweet-tooth in need._

"Hurray! Even if this all goes into my thighs, I shall go cook my burnt fries!" _Being her hyper self._

_Elk got what may attract his feline friend …_

"…Cat nip! Who would have thunk it?"

_Wiseman immediately claimed his gift._

"I have the super-duper-mega-deluxe-neo-generations-EX deck! Fear me, I am unstoppable! Hey… .hack//ENEMY? What's this?"

_It was all quite thrilling for our pals._

_BlackRose peered in her stocking…_

_…and saw something in a small white bottle._

_As she looked with delight…_

"Certified Skeith breast enhancers that don't BS!"

_…was her new prize!_

_…and t'was her chest a perfect size._

_All the red twin blade received was a six pack of beer._

_No one believed he would find Christmas cheer!_

_Disappointed, he threw the alcohol elsewhere…_

"Hey, hang on there, Kite! There's somebody over there!" 

_Our fair maiden of hyper-ness pointed out to a shadowy figure._

_The boy said…_

"Orca!?!"

_…and cried out._

"My buddy hath returned!  Thank you, my suspect-able friend of dark powers!"

_It was only then the boy hugged a doll stuffed with flowers._

"Wait-a-minute… who the hell are you!?" 

_The poor imitation of his well known friend had collapsed on its own…_

_ …the boy surely would have shown…_

"FURY!" _He shouted out._

"I have been betrayed! I have been had! Christmas is only lies and wounds me dead!" _He sorely said._

"Look over here, Kite! I have found a letter where we left cookies and milk." _Our genius card player alerted…_

_The angry twin blade rammed his comrade out of the way…_

_…he took the letter with a simple sway._

_The letter read:_

"Merry Christmas, you boorish buffoon. Of course I'll never give him back to some goody-goody human! You are most definitely an idiot of stupidity if you think you'll ever see him again.  If ya want some of this, you boar, then come to my underground lair of pain to settle the score!"  -Signed, by the terror of death.

_Provoked and eager, he crumpled up the letter. Tossing it aside and had a fiery flare._

"I shall have his derriere!" _he declared._

"Aw, quit mourning over that oaf or you're in for a thwack. Instead, why don't you look at my rack?" _BlackRose insisted he should, wouldn't we all if we could?_

_No, the twin blade shook his head that way..._

_…he hurried off to Skeith's domain to save the day!_

_There the boy stood in front of the chaos gate…_

_...in the aqua capital, he gave the keywords to his probable fate._

_He arrived at last, presumably the North Pole he thought._

"No, this place is not!"

_Er, Skeith corrected…_

_So the time has come where man and the higher being finally fought._

_Oh? But what's this? _

"Take this, and your crappy pills! They do not at all meet my fills!"

_BlackRose came storming from the sky…_

_…and sliced through Skeith like pie!_

"Gwaaaarrgghh… curses, you greedy bunch! Now suffer the wrath of my mighty 

punch!"

_"..." said his underling, a cat with a hat._

"What?! Now!?!? This is such a bitch..."

_Kite & BlackRose only look at each other..._

_…most perplexed, yes, they were!_

"'tis not your time to die. My master wishes her hair to be dyed. Later, dudes!"

_Everyone paused and stared at each other in confusion how that can be possible._

"Skeith, stop dealing with these half-wits! Get your arse over here and stop being such a ditz! 

…really, this get-up of yours sucks."_ It was the voice that everyone dreads._

_All had fled, except the cat who wanted give a last gift._

"…"

_She apologized for her friend harassing them._

_Having heard what the boy wanted most…_

_...the cat pulled out his friend that loved to boast._

"Hey, Rookie! How long have I slept?"

"Not that it really matters; you're back alive and well!"_ Kite replied._

_Orca gave him noogies and flicked his nose…_

"Hah! I can't believe you fell for one of those!"

_Despite the harsh-ness, Kite dealt with it and went back home._

_Orca had followed, but BlackRose stood alone…_

"Why does Kite push me aside? …I only wanted to please him this yuletide."

_She dropped to her knees and felt tears coming from the eyes… _

"ORCA, THAT BLOKE! HE HAS STOLEN MY LOVE, MY HOPE!"

_The cat said, "…" and pulled out a sucker._

"Heh, there's always next time. Hey, it's candy! I love candy!"

_And so, BlackRose felt not all was a big hop…_

_…she was contented enough with a lolli-pop!_

_Ah, what a thrilling Christmas this has been. Everyone is satisfied…_

_…well, mostly everyone._

_In the house where the author resides, he pat himself on the back for such a surprise._

_Man, I never thought these rhymes schemes would never end, but look me, I'm done! _

_So this is where it all comes to halt on this fic…_

_…I think I'll put those two favorable words that I've longed for._

_So the author typed with all his might,_

_…_

_…_

****

**THE END!**


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